The time is finally here!

Today is a good day.  I feel positive.  I feel hopeful.  I feel encouraged.  I feel excited.

It's been a long time since I felt all of those things all at once.  A.Really.Long.Time.

After my d&c last Friday, I felt pretty discouraged.  The doctor that performed my procedure had recommended waiting until my next cycle started to begin with the Letrozole (femara).  I was confused.  I was frustrated.  And honestly, I was a little angry.  Why was I putting my body through this if in the end I was having to wait for another month anyways?  Why not just give me the Provera and get on with it?

So yesterday morning, bright and early, I had a phone appt with my regular doctor to talk with him.  At first he also said that I would wait until my next cycle started.  Ugh.  But after some chatting, he said I could go in for an ultrasound and blood work to see if I could start everything now instead.  Just 6 hours later I was in the car and on the way to his office.

Everything on the ultrasound looked good.  Yay!
"I'll call with the results from the lab later today," said the nurse.

Whoops.  The lab is closed.

Great.

So I impatiently waited for the call this morning to find out what the verdict would be.

Everything came back good.  Finally, finally, finally I can start my medications!

God's timing is funny, don't you think?

One year ago, almost exactly, I lost my sweet baby.  And here I am now just starting the process over again.  Actually, for the first time ever, I can officially say we are trying for a baby.  I found out I was pregnant just a few weeks after S came home from deployment last year, and at the time I was just so excited to have him home, a baby wasn't really on the brain.  So now we're back at square 1 again.  And for the first time in a long time, that feels good.

I don't know what I expect in the coming months.  I'm trying not to expect much really.  I am trying to be hopeful without getting my hopes up.  I'm trying to remain positive without being positive about what will happen.  I'm trying to stay realistic while knowing that God is an amazing God that can overcome any issues I have had being able to conceive.

And for the first time since March when I made my first appt with the fertility clinic, it's not "maybe next month" or "1 more thing."  The time is finally here!

I realize that it may take 1 month or it may take many months, and I'm sure there will be some frustrating days ahead, but for now, right now, I'm just soaking it all in.  I'm allowing myself to be excited about the possibility of what is to come.  I feel so ready for this.  I'm in a much better place than I was even a few months ago, and that, is a good thing!

As we enter in to this new season of our journey, will you pray with us?  Pray for the continued contentment that has been found in recent months.  Pray for our future Baby Seidler's.  And pray that we will have patience to wait on God's most perfect plan.

I'm believing (and praying) that a Baby Seidler announcement is just around the corner!