You might remember I had started taking Provera, a medication to induce my monthly visitor. Well. It didn't work. I guess I shouldn't say it didn't work, more like it didn't completely work. I had all the symptoms of said visitor, aka my skin broke out like a 12 year old going through puberty, but that was about the extent of it. So Monday I went in for blood work and u/s to find out what was going on and what the next step was. The options were either another round of Provera for 10 days or a d&c (dilation and curettage).
Initially I was really turned off by the idea of doing a d&c. This is most commonly done after a miscarriage to clear everything out. I don't want to be put under anesthesia again, and to be honest, I don't want to get another iv. But the nurse talked with my doctor and the decision was made, a d&c it is.
So Friday I'll go in for the procedure. I'm not super excited about it. I am happy that things are still moving along, but the question I keep asking is when is enough, enough? How much does 1 person have to go through just to have a baby? I know what I'm going through and what I've been through, compared to a lot of people, is minimal. But it's still hard. It's overwhelming, and it's hard.
This also has left me with a lot of questions about what the next steps are, when I start taking my prescriptions and how this changes the plan going forward. I think I'll just have to call the nurse and find out, because the unknown is driving me a little crazy.
I also got my trigger shot in the mail today.
For some reason, all of this hit me harder than getting the pills. The shot just seems more serious, more overwhelming. It's showing just how difficult this process really has become.
I'm still feeling like all of this is for a purpose, and I'm totally trusting God's plan in everything, but some days, it just sucks. Today is one of those days.
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