WWBUTW

WWBUTW.  Weird title, right?  It was the best way I could figure to put "What We've Been up to Wednesday" without writing all of that as a title.

Anyways.

Here's what we've been up to :)

This past weekend we were able to drive to Chicago and pick up one of S's sons.  We don't get to see them nearly as often as we'd like to because they live in AZ, and well, we don't.  But nonetheless, we're always thrilled when we do get the chance to spend time with them!  This trip we'll just have Jayden, and thankfully he'll get to be with us in NY for quite awhile.  We got back late Monday night, so yesterday was our first full day here.  There are quite a few things I've learned in just the 24 hours that I've hung out with J.  

1.  Playgrounds are meant to make you feel old and/or fat.  The space in between the bars where you're supposed to walk to get to various parts of the playground?  Yeah.  They're not made for 26 year olds.  It is at this moment that you suddenly realize a). how long it's been since you had the need or want to play on a playground and b). catching a 4 year old is much harder than it should be. 

2.  My husband and stepson are the same person.  The exact.same.person.  No joke.  From the way they look down to the ridiculous smile that covers their face when they're in trouble.

3.  Not surprisingly, Hailey is still not sure about J.  Most of the time she likes him.  Other times, not so much.  It's usually during the times when he's chasing her with the remote control car that she really doesn't like him.  At all.  I can't say I blame her.

4.  Life is much messier with a 4 year old around.  Although, luckily I have a super messy husband, so really, not much has changed.  With the exception of more toys, the house looks pretty similar to before. 

5.  Parenting fails will happen on a daily, probably more accurately, hourly  basis.  I came to this conclusion when we went to the park and I had forgotten sunscreen.  Not only did I forget, but we didn't even have any.  This was my second parenting fail yesterday.  The first... pizza for breakfast.  Oops.  Blame dad for that one! 

So there you have it.  This list will only continue to grow I'm sure.  But for 24 hours, I think that's enough.  And because no post is really that interesting without some pictures, here's the cutie I've been talking about :) 

  

Jenna Hinman: Gone but Never Forgotten

I haven't blogged for a while.  A long while.  

While S was gone, this was often my place to talk it out.  No matter what was going on, I could always come here and vent whatever I was feeling, good, bad, and everything in between.  Since S came back, we've been dealing with a whole lot and nothing all at the same time.  

I was very open about the miscarriage and the struggle of dealing with it in the aftermath, but it's not something I want to share all the time.  But six months later, I'm still dealing with it.  Every.Single.Day. I deal with it.  I live with it.

But then back in March, I, along with much of the country, became aware of the story of Jenna Hinman.  She gave birth to her twin girls only for doctors to find out she was battling an extremely rare case of cancer.  My heart broker for her.  For her husband.  For her family.  For her brand new baby girls.  

Shortly after the girls' births, a Facebook page, Prayers for Jenna, was created.  I immediately began following it and checked for updates as often as they were given.  Her story has evolved and spiraled, and suddenly, more than a quarter of a million people were in this battle right along side the Hinman family.  

We watched as she struggled with the chemo.  We watched as her girls gained weight.  We watched as her husband sat by her side every day.  We watched her get better! 

Then yesterday, an emergency prayer request was posted.  Her vitals were unstable and ventilator had been turned all the way up.  But, as had happened so many times before, it seemed she would fight off another infection, this time in the form of pneumonia.  

Several hours ago, this was posted. 

No details.  Nothing more.  Nothing less.  

And then, just 22 minutes ago, the news was released that Jenna had passed.  After 2 months of fighting, she is gone.  Once again my heart broke completely.  For her.  For her husband.  For her family.  For her now 2 month old baby girls.  

Suddenly, everything I've been going through, every feeling I've felt about my miscarriage, every frustration I've had since then, seems like nothing.  It seems so dismal.  It seems so.... what is there to even say? 

This family's world has just been rocked.  It has been turned completely upside down.  There are no words to make it better.  There are no words to take the pain away.  Nothing that can ease the pain of those precious girls as they grow up without having the chance to know their momma.  

I caution you tonight, no matter what you may be going through, to say a prayer of thankfulness.  Realize that you woke up this morning, and by that simple fact, you are BLESSED.  Look around you.  At your husband.  At your kids.  At the dirty laundry needing to be washed.  And realize that you are extremely blessed.  

And to the Hinman family- you are in my thoughts and prayers.  No amount of words will ever make this ok.  Jenna fought a long, hard fight.  For that, she will always be remembered.  Not just by her family and friends, but by people all over this country who followed her story from the moment we heard it.  Her spirit will live on, and I'm certain her girls will not only know who she is but how much she loved them.  

Love to you,

Mrs. Seidler