Alright, so we're officially back in the 'too many doctors appointments, more needle pokes that I like in a week, and lots of medications that I can barely pronounce let alone know what they do' stage of making Baby Seidler.
Yesterday I had my baseline blood work and ultrasound to see where things were at and if I could go ahead with starting the medications. The only concern the nurse had was a cyst on one of my ovaries. She thought it was probably just a post-ovulatory cyst though. At the end of the appt, she told me to start my medications and I never got a call saying any different, so I'm assuming the cyst isn't producing enough estrogen to make a difference, so that's great!
In the past, I've done 2 identical cycles. 5 days of Letrozole (helps with ovulation) and a trigger shot (forces ovulation) later in the cycle. I was happy with starting there, but being this is our third cycle, it was time for something else. The nurse assured me that the things we're doing this time are a great step up from the last two cycles. I asked her if there's a chance that this will work or if I'm wasting my time, and again, she assured me that I'm not wasting my time. Of course there's no guarantee that it will work, and that's not even what I'm looking for, but I want to know that I'm not putting myself through all of this for absolutely no reason.
The other day, when I initially said we'd be starting treatment again, I was pretty down. I wasn't into it, and to be honest, I didn't want to start again. But I did anyways. One of the biggest reasons for me is that we won't be here at Fort Drum forever. I trust my doctor, and I know that he's really good at what he does, so the longer I can be in his care, trying to get/being pregnant, the better. Now that I'm back in the saddle though, I'm feeling good about it. I guess it's kind of like when you start working out for the first time. It sucks at first, it's more of a forced thing you do because you know you should, but after awhile, it becomes good, it becomes routine. That's where I'm at now. I'm sorting through pills and reading over treatment plans and spending lots of time driving back and forth to Syracuse, but if this is what it takes to get a sweet baby in my arms, I'll do it.
Right at this moment, I'm feeling... cautiously optimistic. I'm certainly not walking around with rose colored glasses thinking, or knowing, that this is going to work, but if I don't have at least a little hope, then I shouldn't be doing it. I'm also still working hard to get healthy again, so I'm hoping that will help as well. At the very least, it can't hurt.
So that's where we're at for now.
I'm praying for good things over these next few weeks and still trusting that God's hand is at work here. For whatever reason, I'm going through this, and as much as it truly sucks and is heartbreaking at times, God is using it. He has used it and will continue to do so, I have no doubt.
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