A rainbow x2

I don't think it's any secret that yesterday was a rough day for me.  Although the news I got at the doctor is technically bad, it's just very overwhelming.  Very.  Trying to understand and process all the medications and what the next few months will look like was... not easy.  Nobody thinks they're going to have this much trouble having a baby, I mean, it seems so simple, right?  Turns out it isn't so simple for everybody.

I was very overcome by the emotion of it all, and as easy as it is to say, "Just stay positive.  It will happen," the reality is that staying positive isn't going to get me to where I want to be.  A lot of prayer, a lot of faith, and a lot of help from my doctor will, but positivity?  Not so much.  That's not to say I shouldn't be positive, but yesterday was not when I needed to be.  What I needed was to soak it all in and realize that what I'm going through sucks.  There's just no way around that.

But, that leads me to this blog post.

A few weeks ago, I found out that Fort Drum was giving away free tickets to the Brad Paisley concert at the state fair.  I.WAS.PUMPED.  I love all things country and especially my man Brad.  Do you think we got any of those free tickets?  No.  Of course not.  I didn't sweat it too much, but I was bummed.  However, in the last few days I had seen a lot of the wives giving their tickets away.  I was never quick enough to get to them though.  Then yesterday, just hours before the concert was going to start, I snagged two!!  I couldn't believe it.  At first the lady said they had been spoken for, and I started crying.  It wasn't really that big of a deal, but it just wasn't what I needed to hear after everything that had happened.  Just a few minutes later though she messaged me that she ended up having 2, and Sean could pick them up.  YES!!  So he quickly came home and off we went.  Off we went into a tremendous storm!  Yikes.  But something completely beautiful came out of that storm.  The most beautiful, complete rainbow stretched across the sky.  And from the picture, it actually seems like there was a double rainbow!!

To most people, this isn't a big deal.  Rainbows come after storms so often, it's just the way things are.  But to me, it meant something so much more.  The last time I saw a rainbow was the day Sean and I left the hospital after finding out I miscarried.  I was completely devastated.  I was emotionally drained.  I was broken.  I saw that rainbow, and even to this day, it has stood as a symbol, as a promise from God.  A promise that something better is coming.  He hasn't forgotten me, and although I may be weathering a storm for a time, eventually that will pass and a rainbow will come.  It has been 10 months since I've seen a rainbow.  And driving to Syracuse, with that rainbow so bright and big, it reminded me once again of God's promise.  Isn't that so the way He works though?  Just when you think you can't handle another second of pain, He says, "Just hang on.  Better things are coming.  The storm may rage for now, but that will end.  Your rainbow will come, just like I promised."  It's a true testament to how He loves us.  Fiercely and with a love so great, He's willing to throw a rainbow in the sky just to prove it.  To remind us not to stop fighting, to not stop hoping, to not stop having faith.  Wow.

And then today, He brought me back to the song Healer by Kari Jobe.  If you haven't heard it, I suggest you listen to it.  God is speaking.  He is working.  And though yesterday looked scary and bleak, today looks beautiful and promising.  I trust that.  I trust Him.

Finally we made it to Syracuse, to the fair, and to the concert.  We had a great time.  It was just what I needed.  I truly believe that God worked a miracle yesterday.

I "happened" to see the post on Facebook about the tickets.
I "happened" to message her just in time.
She "happened" to unexpectedly have two available that weren't supposed to be.
Sean "happened" to be leaving work just as I needed him to pick them up.

Without any of those things happening, I never would have witnessed the rainbow and been able to remember that God has a plan.  And it's a good one.

I know I'm not the only one going through stuff, so if you are too, just hang on.  God's promises are not just for me.  They're for you too, and I know He won't disappoint.  Thank you to everyone that has and continues to pray for Sean, me, and any future babies we may be blessed enough to have.  You will never know how much it means to us.

Now, who wants to see some Brad Paisley?!  (sorry for the crappy iPhone pictures)