Preparing for surgery

Well, this is it.  It's really, really happening.

S and I just got back from Syracuse for my pre-op appointment.  It went pretty much as I expected.  The nurse answered all the questions we had, especially the ones concerning after the procedure is done.  I'm feeling a major sense of relief and hope regarding the whole thing.

I know I said this on the last post, but I fell into a major "I'm not having kids" funk, and it's been real hard to work my way out of it.  It was just so much easier to accept what might never be than to get my hope up.  BUT those days are over.  It's time to remember and know that God has a plan.  Which He does.

When the first nurse came in to get my blood pressure and all that fun stuff, she asked if I was nervous, and I (pretty confidently) said no.  To some people this might not seem like a big deal, but anybody that really knows me, knows I'm not a fan of doctors, or anything medically related really.  I actually have a pretty large dislike for them.  Well, not doctors as people, it's just, nothing good ever comes from having to go to the doctor.  I've been this way for as long as I remember.  Doctor visits and me have just never gone well.  Ever.

But for right now, I'm not nervous.  I'm ready.  Dare I say even excited?  I'm ready for this next step.  For the chance to finally get what we've been wanting, hoping, praying for all along.  God has really been working in my heart recently, and I'm more excited than I have been in awhile for the days ahead, for the things to come.

Sometimes it's scary putting all of this out there.  Letting people know what's really going on.  But right after the miscarriage, I wanted support from anyone or anything I could get it from.  I wanted information about what was next.  I read some incredibly moving blogs that talked about it that really helped.  Same thing after I found out about the endometriosis.  I googled.  A lot.  And let me tell you, that was not always a good thing! ;)  So that's why I'm doing this.  If I can help even 1 person who might stumble across this, then sharing our story will have been worth it.

Plus, I want to look back at this and remember where God brought us from.  It's easy to remember how faithful God is in the good times, but what about in the bad?  Not always so easy.  I want to know, and most of all remember, that God is faithful in the good times, in the bad times, in the hard times, in the easy times, in the happy times, in all the times that we will face.  That's the most important thing to me.

So that's where things stand now.  Maybe I'll feel differently on Tuesday morning, but for now, I'm good.  I'm very confident in the skills of my doctor, as both a doctor and surgeon, and know he will do an excellent job.

But still,  keep praying with me?  Sean and I would greatly appreciate it :)