I haven't blogged for a while. A long while.
While S was gone, this was often my place to talk it out. No matter what was going on, I could always come here and vent whatever I was feeling, good, bad, and everything in between. Since S came back, we've been dealing with a whole lot and nothing all at the same time.
I was very open about the miscarriage and the struggle of dealing with it in the aftermath, but it's not something I want to share all the time. But six months later, I'm still dealing with it. Every.Single.Day. I deal with it. I live with it.
But then back in March, I, along with much of the country, became aware of the story of Jenna Hinman. She gave birth to her twin girls only for doctors to find out she was battling an extremely rare case of cancer. My heart broker for her. For her husband. For her family. For her brand new baby girls.
Shortly after the girls' births, a Facebook page, Prayers for Jenna, was created. I immediately began following it and checked for updates as often as they were given. Her story has evolved and spiraled, and suddenly, more than a quarter of a million people were in this battle right along side the Hinman family.
We watched as she struggled with the chemo. We watched as her girls gained weight. We watched as her husband sat by her side every day. We watched her get better!
Then yesterday, an emergency prayer request was posted. Her vitals were unstable and ventilator had been turned all the way up. But, as had happened so many times before, it seemed she would fight off another infection, this time in the form of pneumonia.
Several hours ago, this was posted.
No details. Nothing more. Nothing less.
And then, just 22 minutes ago, the news was released that Jenna had passed. After 2 months of fighting, she is gone. Once again my heart broke completely. For her. For her husband. For her family. For her now 2 month old baby girls.
Suddenly, everything I've been going through, every feeling I've felt about my miscarriage, every frustration I've had since then, seems like nothing. It seems so dismal. It seems so.... what is there to even say?
This family's world has just been rocked. It has been turned completely upside down. There are no words to make it better. There are no words to take the pain away. Nothing that can ease the pain of those precious girls as they grow up without having the chance to know their momma.
I caution you tonight, no matter what you may be going through, to say a prayer of thankfulness. Realize that you woke up this morning, and by that simple fact, you are BLESSED. Look around you. At your husband. At your kids. At the dirty laundry needing to be washed. And realize that you are extremely blessed.
And to the Hinman family- you are in my thoughts and prayers. No amount of words will ever make this ok. Jenna fought a long, hard fight. For that, she will always be remembered. Not just by her family and friends, but by people all over this country who followed her story from the moment we heard it. Her spirit will live on, and I'm certain her girls will not only know who she is but how much she loved them.
Love to you,
Mrs. Seidler
No comments:
Post a Comment